Monday Memo #26
Pause.
The Monday memo is food for thought to fuel your week.
Hi everyone,
Have you ever noticed that great interviewers will pause for a long moment when they are interviewing someone? The person seems like they’re finished. And then the interviewer waits. The camera keeps rolling. And then the person lets out a bombshell. That’s the power of a pause.
A pause is like a tiny retreat. A moment to breathe. It gives people — including yourself — time to absorb what was said. It creates space in the conversation. Breathing room.
In some cultures, silence feels like a gap that needs to be filled. In others, silence is a natural, even elemental, need. When I worked in Finland, I learned the power of silence. It was not uncommon for meetings to have long pauses where people took time to consider what was being discussed.
Sometimes, on a walk, it helps to stop and enjoy the view. The same is true for conversation. If you make space, interesting things will often emerge.
Composer Claude Debussy (some say Miles Davis) said that music is the space between the notes. You could also say that drawing is the space between the lines. In art school I learned that “negative space” — the space between things — is an important part of seeing and drawing. The spaces between things are often what gives them meaning. And a conversation is the space between what is said.
Time is a sensory experience. A sense, if you will. Silence creates a sense of time. You may feel like nothing is happening when you stop talking, but something is happening. Like musical notes, words take on more meaning when they are surrounded by silence.
New plants cannot grow in spaces that are already occupied with other plants. Some thoughts are just like the green shoots of a new plant. They cannot emerge without some emptiness. They need silence.
Space creates room for movement. New thoughts. New ideas. New turnings.
Exercise.
This week, practice being comfortable with pauses. Create space between the thoughts that are being expressed. When someone speaks, listen deeply. When they finish a thought, pause to reflect on what you heard. Sit with the silence. Leave space in your conversations. Make room for new thoughts.
There is no lack of noise in the world today. No lack of words. Sometimes, what people need is to be heard, and compassionate silence is a way to show that you are listening. That people’s words have meaning.
Try pausing, and see what emerges.
Upcoming:
Our next Collaboratory co-host is Jorge Arango, author of the new book Duly Noted. He will focus on Tending your knowledge garden — how we can turn the flotsam and jetsam of everyday life into a garden of ideas and references for better thinking, reflection, and creation. This Collaboratory is happening on Wednesday, June 19th, from 9 to 10:30 AM Pacific, (that’s Noon to 1:30 PM Eastern, 5 to 6:30 PM BST). For access to this and other Collaboratories, become a member today.
To kick off July we will hold a URL Roundup, hosted by
. Chelsea invites you to think about domain names you may have purchased but are not using. In the URL Roundup we will showcase, share and vote on domain ideas, and think together about how we might get them out of the stable and off to the races!Buy a ticket for the URL Roundup or become a member today for free access to all Collaboratories. Ask questions or share thoughts in this pre-roundup chat.
Campfire calls.
Our Friday Campfire calls are free to join, anyone is welcome. We talk about things that are fueling our creative energy and inspiring us. Instructions to join the Friday Campfire and/or add it to your calendar.
Members get access to Campfire call recordings, free access to Collaboratories and Collaboratory recordings, AI summaries and the full email archive. You also get a warm and fuzzy feeling from being a card-carrying member of the Possibilitarian community, and supporting our work. It’s only $20/month or $200/year. Become a member by upgrading your subscription.
As of this week we have 66 members. The first 100 members will lock in the $20/month, $200/year rate.
If you’re already a member, thank you. You’re making this possible.
More information for members, including recordings of previous Collaboratories and registration links for upcoming ones, is below the fold.