The Monday memo is food for thought to fuel your week.
Hi everyone,
Life doesn’t come with a script. Every day, you step into scenes without knowing what comes next. You walk into meetings, bump into neighbors, navigate conversations with family. You’re improvising constantly, and so is everyone else.
We are all improvising, all the time. So why not make an effort to get better at it? Luckily for all of us, there is a group of people who have elevated this to an art form, giving us a body of knowledge and a practice that we all can learn from: Improv.
One thing that improv players understand that the rest of us often forget: improv is a team sport. Since everything is created in the moment, players must continuously help each other succeed. On a improv stage there are not many props or stage elements. Everything exists in the players’ imaginations. So the actors pay close attention to each other, continuously giving each other clues about their character, situation, relationships, motivations, and reminding each other what’s going on.
In everyday life, it’s easy to make assumptions about what’s going on; to walk into a room thinking everyone inhabits a shared reality, that everyone shares your context, your mood, your understanding of what’s happening.
But that’s never the case. Most of what’s going on in any situation involves people’s inner worlds: their thoughts, their emotions, their personal history and associations. And nobody has access to your inner world except you. They don’t know that you're hungry, having a bad day, or that you’re excited about a new project, or anything else that isn’t self-evident on the surface. We can’t access the depths of each others’ inner worlds.
In relationships, you can get into all kinds of trouble by making assumptions about people’s inner worlds, their attention, state of mind, or situation.
Exercise.
This week, when you walk into a situation, take a moment to check in: make your inner state explicit and show interest in the inner states of others.
Take a moment to share what you’re bringing to the scene. “I’m running on three hours of sleep but excited about this project” or “I’m feeling scattered today but want to focus on what you’re saying.”
See what happens when you give your fellow actors better information to work with. Does it changes the quality of your interactions when everyone has a clearer sense of what’s happening in your inner world?
We are all in the same boat: we’re on a stage together, and none of us has a script. We are improvising, writing the script as we go, creating the story of our lives together.
If you can help others understand your context, you’re not just being needy or vulnerable. You're helping the scene succeed.
Try it and see what happens.
Live: Pop-up potluck this Saturday!
We’ll be meeting up live, in person, in Portland, Oregon, on Saturday, June 28. That;so this coming Saturday! Lodging for Friday and Saturday nights are available if you decide to join us from out of town.
It’s potluck, free to attend, no ticket required. Just bring yourself and a creative idea or project you want to discuss. There’s no plan or agenda. We’ll figure it out when we get there.
Here’s your invite with all the information. If you plan to join us, don’t forget to RSVP here.
More information for members is below the fold.👇